positive attitude, The Boldly Lead Way with Paul Simkins, The Values Coach, Page 11

A Negative People Morning

I don’t usually do this, but this morning I turned on the TV first thing and turned to the news. What we were looking for was anything about the federal budget and possible government shutdown. My wife, Sherry, works for the federal government and would likely be taking a break for a while if the government shuts down. While she would eventually get paid, if it goes for any length of time that is income we don’t have.

On Facebook and other social media, where there never seems to be an end to the political experts anxious to share their opinions with you, there have been all kinds of commentary about this event and most of it negative. It’s unavoidable as we live in a negative world.

Don’t Let Negative People Define You

But you and I, we are positive people. We believe in keeping a positive attitude. And in this negative world, even having a positive attitude can have a bad rap. Over the years, I have read and listened to plenty of Norman Vincent Peale and many others who remind us and equip us to have a positive attitude in everything we do. The negative clans are quick to attack this attitude as a head in the sand approach, or a Pollyanna ^note outlook on life, or looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. According to them, we fail to face the realities of life; or at least reality as defined by them.

In truth, having a positive attitude is none of these things. We don’t hide our heads hoping bad things will just go away. We don’t ignore the challenges of this world or government shutdowns or bad economies or falling job markets. We simply refuse to let them define our lives; we stay true to who we are, what we are, and whose we are. Maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t mean we ignore the world; quite the contrary. We see the world and we intend to change it! And we start with ourselves!

Our biggest battle will be the negative people who surround us. Make no mistake about it, NEGATIVE PEOPLE SUCK! They just suck the life right out of you and your hopes and dreams. And they will hammer their message at you continually trying to break you down until you think like they do. You have heard that misery loves company? Believe it! They want you on their side.

Don’t be Anakan, be Luke! Refuse to cross over to the dark side!

Getting Away from the Influence of Negative People

So how to do we avoid letting negative people impact our lives? Ultimately, it’s going to rely on your will and desire to stay positive, but here’s a few things that will help.

Stop watching the news! I mentioned at the beginning that I almost never turn on the TV news in the morning. It’s not that I am trying to ignore what’s happening in the world, it’s just that I don’t see the need to fill my mind with the full-force negativity of broadcast news.
When a negative thinker starts to share their downer philosophy of life, don’t agree with them. At the time, it will seem like the quickest and easiest way to get ride of them, but it’s not. As soon as you agree with them, they think they have an ally and will be coming to you more often.
Don’t argue with a negative thinker; you can’t win. If you disagree, they want to engage in an argument and come up with more reasons why you should believe they way they do. Negative doesn’t give up that easy.
Don’t minimize their complaints either. If you minimize it, they will simply try to come up with more reasons why they are right.
Be sympathetic to what they are saying, but try to re-direct them more to the task at hand.
Always be on a deadline. “I understand how you are feeling, it must be frustrating. Please excuse me, I need to focus on this project right now because I gotta have it done by the end of the day.” The more that you can do that, the more leverage it gives you to excuse yourself away from those situations.
Seek affirmations. That negative input is going to impact you so you need to seek positive affirmations that are going to help build up your positive thoughts again so you can stay focused on your goals.

Action Plan

Starting tonight, read or listen to something positive just before you go to bed. Ideally, a self-affirmation script is key because it plants positive thoughts into the subconscious that burned in while you sleep. It also gets anything negative off your mind before you put you head on the pillow.
Starting tomorrow, read or listen to something positive immediately after you wake up. Don’t turn on the TV; at least not yet. Motivational recordings or books, or simply look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are going to have a great day, that you will overcome any obstacles that get in your way, that you will love and care for your family and friends, that you will take care of all your big rocks on the day and add value to everyone you meet.
Avoid the negative thinkers by focusing on the task at hand. ALWAYS have something to do that requires your immediate attention.

P.S. While people use the term Pollyanna negatively, as if to assert that being optimistic and looking for the good is wrong, I have never had an issue with this. Call me a Pollyanna, I embrace it gladly!

Positive Attitude = Positive Results

Zig Ziglar warns about “stinkin’ thinkin’” and “hardening of the attitude“. Norman Vincent Peale refers to “empty hearts and empty minds” who take on a defeatist position. Tony Robbins cautions you to avoid seeing the garden as overrun by “weeds“. John Maxwell, Ken Blanchard, and the list goes on, all talk about the overwhelming difference that attitude can make. More importantly, they speak to how a negative attitude yields nothing but negative results.

positive thinking gets better results

Conversely, to the person they will also tell you that a positive attitude leads to more positive results. Zig Ziglar says

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”

And from Peale,

“Change your thoughts and you change your world!”

Tony Robbins:

“We will act consistently with our view of ourselves, whether that view is accurate or not.”

John Maxwell:

“People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.”

Positive Attitude = Riches?

Does a positive attitude make you rich overnight? No, of course not! The idea behind having a positive attitude isn’t to change your fortunes instantly but to change you instantly and consistently. When you become consistent in your attitude, it will play out in your actions. It has to, you can’t help it. It has to do with what psychologists call “Cognitive Dissonance“.

In simple terms, it means that you cannot think one way and act in an opposite manner on a consistent basis.

The mind can’t handle it and therefore will either change your thoughts or change your actions to bring consistency. If you think positively and act negatively (which would include not acting at all), then your mind will adjust one or the other. In most cases, your mind will side with your actions. So while we always point out that our actions speak louder to others than our words do, the same is true within us. What you do speaks louder to your mind that what you say.

Does that mean that we should stop talking positive until we start acting positive? Not at all! Because while our actions have more influence with our mind, our words have influence with our mind as well AND with our actions. So even if we take positive actions but continue to think and talk negatively, it will start to affect our actions. They will become less positive and less powerful and once again our mind will brings things back to consistency.

So the real secret in the power of being positive is to combine BOTH positive thoughts and positive actions. They influence one another and influence our mind as well. When we are consistent in both thought and action this way, our mind can be more powerful. Instead of having to sort through the inconsistencies of our thoughts and actions, the mind can spend time on other things like true creative thought and dreaming big dreams.

I’ll be writing all this week about positive thinking. I invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and even positive quotes that are meaningful to you. Share what you know so we ALL can be more positive and more effective.

Change to positive thinking

Action Plan

For at least the next 30 days, read or listen to something positive each day FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Studies have shown that what first enters our mind on the day has incredible influence over our day.
What is one thing you have wanted to do but have not begun yet? Write in down in detail on a piece of paper or on your computer or tablet.
What one positive action can you take TODAY to begin? It doesn’t have to be a big action, it just has to be positive and move you closer to the objective. Make a point not to go to bed tonight without doing that.