Tag: positive attitude

Focus or Flurry – A Personal Lesson in Purpose

Posted on by

Three Years of Focus AND Flurry

failure - lack of focus purposeAlmost three years ago I began this journey to have my own business.  I felt it was my purpose to help others learn to become better leaders and better team members.  I joined a program to be certified by John Maxwell (one of my mentors) as a leadership coach and become a Founding Partner of the John Maxwell Team of independent coaches.  While I have seen some victories, it has not become the overnight, overwhelming success I imagined it to be.  Which doesn’t mean it won’t be, just not necessarily on the timetable I originally envisioned.

It’s my own fault; every bit of it.  Lack of real focus and a flurry of activity in multiple directions.  Friends and family who mean well try to give me an out and mention that the economy is down, small businesses all over are struggling.  It’s not your fault.  But it is.

Not Giving Up

Let me be clear:  I am not calling it quits.  I still firmly believe I was meant to do this and will continue to try to do it until I am physically or mentally unable to.  However, it’s important to recognize where you have failed and even more importantly, how you can learn from that failure.  My two biggest failures have been lack of real focus and lack of strong purpose.

There have been other failures as well.  Lack of a real solid plan for getting and keeping clients, lack of a comprehensive marketing plan, poor money management, etc.  Passion sometimes blinds us to the realities of life.  Just because I have something to say that can help others doesn’t necessarily mean they will beat down the door.

Choose Growth to Find Purpose and Focus

Reading John Maxwell’s latest book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn has helped me put this in perspective.  I can mope and whine about my great failures or I can learn my lessons from it and move forward and do better.

I choose to learn and grow and get better.  So my purpose of sharing all this with you today isn’t to bemoan my failures and give up; in fact, quite the opposite.  I will grow stronger and become more effective and that will equip me even more to add value to you going forward.

failure - focus purposeSo what are my lesson learned and what am I doing about it?  Here’s a brief summary:

  • Enrolled in a marketing training program to become a better marketer of my services.  I am using ActionPlan.com and highly recommend Robert Middleton as he makes this easy to understand and has excellent hands-on experiences.
  • Narrowing my focus and defining my purpose.  There are thousands of leadership coaches out there.  What can I do that is unique and provides value?  After blogging every day now for over a month, I am finding myself focusing a great deal on personal growth qualities and most of my work going forward will focus on that.
  • Re-structuring of systems I use to acquire contacts and maintain communication with them

The biggest lesson which I really had to wrap my head around:  IT IS OKAY TO FAIL AND EVEN TO FAIL REPEATEDLY as long as you learn.  Thomas Edison while trying to invent the lightbulb failed almost 100o times before he achieved success.  Someone asked him how it felt to fail so many times and Edison replied

I didn’t fail 999 times, I simply learned 999 ways to NOT make a lightbulb!

Let’s move forward together and look forward to our failures!  Let’s learn and grow and succeed together!

Action Plan

  • Where you have failed big recently?  What have your learned from it?  Spend some time thinking on the lessons you could or should learn.
  • Who can you team up with to help you see perspective and gain accountability for growing?  If you can’t think of anyone, call me at 321-355-2442.

 

Focus or Flurry? Busy But Why Aren’t You Getting Anywhere?

Posted on by

Focus or Flurry – Too Busy

Non-stop from the moment you get up until it’s time to put your head on the pillow.  Personal and professional schedules often overlap.  You spend a good amount of time driving from location to location.  Sometimes you cut activities short in order to rush on to the next one.  When you are ready for bed you are totally exhausted and can’t seem to catch up on rest.

too busyYou probably know someone like this.  You may BE someone like this.  It is tell-tale symptoms of someone who is too busy.

There is nothing wrong with being busy.  Busy keeps us active and keeps us from wasting time focusing on the negatives of our lives.  It’s not being busy that is the issue, it’s HOW we are being busy.  Are we busy with things that are targeted or are we simply busy with activities?  Busyness that is not targeted and purpose-driven can lead to a distinct feeling of emptyness.  We are so busy that we must be getting somewhere, but why does it still feel incomplete.  Our busyness has no real meaning.  We spend our time in flurry.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”   Socrates

“It is not enough to be busy.  Even the ants do that.  The question is: what are we busy about?”
Henry David Thoreau

Not sure if you are one of those who are too busy?  Here are 7 signs that you are too busy:

  1. You are always surviving.  You can’t remember what open time on your calendar looked like or the last time you were ahead of schedule.
  2. Meals coincide or overlap with other events.  If you don’t have time to sit down and simply enjoy a little family meal time or quiet meal time, that’s definitely a sign.
  3. You tend to be tired even in the mornings.  You can get rest from all the flurry.
  4. You can’t remember the last time you read a book.
  5. You have interruptions to your interruptions.
  6. You cannot consistently set aside a time-frame for a specific activity, like exercise.
  7. You do not engage in intentional, daily growth

Focus or Flurry – Making the Change

We must make the transformation from being too busy to being productively busy.  We have to move from flurry to focus.  And it starts with the decision to do so.  You must resolve that you are tired of being tired, you are fed up with not getting where you want to be.  It doesn’t solve your problems, but it helps provide the resolve you are going to need to implement this.

Action Plan

Create calendar blocks.  Each block should be at least an hour preferably but certainly no less than 30 minutes each.  You won’t need to block every waking moment, you are simply trying to make sure that you set aside specific activity blocks.  You will protect these blocks ruthlessly, letting nothing short of real emergencies (spurting blood, sinkholes, hurricanes, earthquakes) get in the way.  You need these blocks labelled on your daily calendar:

  1. Spiritual Time.  I call this devotional time but you can call it what you want.  The point is you need daily time dedicated to developing your spiritual life.  This helps make everything else better, it is THAT critical.  Ideally, this is your first block of the day.  Get up earlier if need be to have time for it.  I find that’s what works best for me, before everyone else gets up to have my devotional time.  If you have kids, it’s even better to let them see you engaged in this daily as it also encourages them to develop the habit.
  2. Hard Time.  This block is set aside for doing things you know you need to do that day but avoid and postpone until it is too late to do them.  Set aside time for it and strictly do not allow yourself to do anything else during that time frame until the hard thing is done.
  3. Personal Growth Time.  A block designed for you to intentionally grow yourself.  Remember my 1% rule:  if you simply grow yourself intentionally by 1% a day you will see exponential results.
  4. Reading Time.  Do nothing but read.  Magazines or trade journals, books, white papers.  Do not spend this time on the newspaper or social media.  We want reading time that feeds us.
  5. Me Time.  A block where no one else but you is your concern.  Do whatever you want as long as it isn’t for someone else.  You need this for your sanity and balance.

Why Pollyanna Was Right – Positive Thinking

Posted on by

How to Get Better Ideas

positive thinking yields brighter ideasWho gets better ideas, the positive person or the negative person?  A traditional saying is that “necessity is the mother of invention”; in other words, great ideas are spurred by need.  On the surface, that seems negative but actually the opposite is true.  Taking action happens from a positive attitude.  The negative attitude simply sees the need but the positive attitude not only sees the need but also believes fully that there is a solution if they only look long enough and hard enough to find it.  The negative person gives up, the positive person gives more.

I also believe BETTER ideas come from a positive attitude.  The positive thinker is outward focused and sees possibilities in every situation.  This ignites the thinking processes that want to find not just the easiest way but the best way and they will look at multiple options; not rejecting anything until they determine which will work best.  The negative thinker looks for the easy way out, doubting that anything will work and why not choose the path of least resistance.  This concept is born out in research, as I noted in yesterdays blog, Bouncing Back.  The positive person is simply in a better position to see options and make the most effective choice.  They are also more likely to execute it, which after all is the point.  No solution works if you don’t implement it.  Earlier in the week I mentioned a quote by Zig Ziglar that applies so well here:

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

Pollyanna Was Right

pollyanna showed positive thinking in all situationsMany people use the term Pollyanna-ish to denote an idea or person who seems to be unreasonably positive.  This is based on the book and movie Pollyanna about a girl who goes to live with a relative in a town that is struggling and her constant positive outlook befriends everyone in town.  Many see Pollyanna’s attitude as almost a head in the sand, ignore the bad things and look at the good things attitude and see it as non-productive and certainly not results oriented.  So typically, referring to something as Pollyanna-ish is meant to be a derogatory term.  I think the opposite is true.  It’s not ignoring the situation, it’s simply refusing to accept it as final.  It is always seeing possibilities.  Being a Star Trek fan, I have to try and fit in a quote here from James T. Kirk (paraphrased a bit):

“I don’t believe in a no win scenario. I like to think there are always possibilities.”

A positive attitude allows you to reach high and overcome odds, it allows you to look for and see the best in people instead of the worst.  It also means you EXPECT the best from people and not the worst.  When you expect the best and make that clear in the way you treat people, most will go out of their way to live up to your expectation.  Will some disappoint you and break your heart? Sure, it’s inevitable.  But it is still better than expecting the worst in everyone else, treating them accordingly, and never being surprised or disappointed.  Expecting the worst in others brings out the worst in you.  Expecting the best in yourself and others creates a world of potential and possibilities that the worst can never bring you.

Think about your employees or colleagues in the workplace.  Do you expect the best from them?  Do you show that by treating them with respect, by giving them YOUR best?  Do you make your expectations clear?  How do you support them?  Encourage them?  Equip them?  As soon as you believe in possibilities and show that daily, they will too and it will show as they strive to constantly meet your expectations.

Action Plan

  1. Apply the thought “always possibilities” to a particular problem you are facing.
  2. Think about how you can give your best to your employees or colleagues. Determine your first step and do it.
  3. How can you communicate your expectations without being aggressive or offensive?

Bouncing Back: A Positive Attitude Solves Problems

Posted on by

Punching the Clown

the clown keeps bouncing backOne Christmas when I was very young I got a fun little toy; at least fun for a young boy.  It was an inflatable clown with a rounded, weighted base.  Once you blew him up he stood tall.  He had the nice red nose sticking out and you could aim for it and basically box the clown.  Punch him and he is bouncing back and you can punch him again.  Of course, you always won.  Or did you?

The amazing thing about that clown was that no matter how many times or how hard I hit him, he kept bouncing back up immediately.  Punch him right on the nose, and he rolls right back up so I can hit him again.  Kick him with a nice 7 year old karate kick and he bounced back.  Nothing short of deflating him totally would keep him down.  Even then, you would simply fill him back up and he was ready to go again.  Got a leak?  No problem, patch him up, blow him up, and he is ready to go.  He just didn’t know that he should stay down.  He just kept bouncing back.

Bouncing Back from Problems

It is inevitable.  Problems will come along.  Things rarely go as planned.  You think you are in line for a promotion, you get laid off.  You think you are making progress financially and the house needs a major repair.

In the last five years, we have dealt with issues like everyone else.  Layoffs, a child with Borderline Personality Disorder who has run away from home repeatedly, lots of medical issues which ran up expenses, a very down year for my business, and more recently the federal government shutdown which put my wife on furlough meaning no income.

We could sit and cry about our problems.  No one would really blame us.  But it doesn’t solve anything.  I like to be solution oriented.  This is where a positive attitude comes in.  I don’t believe in defeat, just delay.  I am not down unless I think I am.  I will keep bouncing back as long as I can.  The positive attitude allows us to think clearly about solutions instead of dwelling on problems.  A positive attitude keeps us outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused, avoiding having a pity party.  You have to have faith in your ability to keep bouncing back and finding solutions to your problems.  Norman Vincent Peale mentions that achieving your potential requires that faith when he said,

“Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will.”

keep bouncing backSo a positive attitude actually helps us to keep bouncing back from our problems.  In fact, there is research to support that.  In an article in Entrepreneur Magazine, they cite research done at the University of North Carolina that determined that positive emotions “expand awareness and attention” which makes you more open to possible solutions than negative thinking will.

Open up your mind to possibilities.  Believe they are there and like the inflatable clown, keep bouncing back up!

Action Plan

  1. Focus your mind on positive, affirming thoughts.  Encourage yourself that you can keep bouncing back, that you WILL find solutions, that nothing will keep you down.  Don’t move on to the next step until you have reached a positive outlook.
  2. Now think of one main thing that  is threatening to bring you down? Focus on that.  Spend 15 minutes of uninterrupted time brainstorming possible solutions.  If this issue involves your spouse or significant other, include them.  The rules are:
    1. No more than 15 minutes – anything that will come will flow within that time span
    2. No interruptions – no phone, no texting, nothing
    3. No discussion or commentary – whatever ideas come out go down on paper no matter how impossible or silly or stupid they sound.  Write them down.
  3. Now that you have a list of possible s0lutions, discuss them.  Pare down to top 5 possibles.
  4. Take the top 5 and determine two more likely options.
  5. Determine which one to try first.
  6. Invoke that solution today.

Call Now