Why Fortune is Not Your Best Friend

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Fortune Filled

Our lives are filled with references to fortune. The popular game show Wheel of Fortune, of course. The infamous rainbow and the pot of gold at the end, guarded by a Leprechaun. We have our dreams of fame and fortune.

When I was younger we used to play a game with fortune cookies at oriental restaurants. Perhaps you played it too. You would read your fortune out loud to everyone and then add the words “..in bed!” to the end. So “You will have great unexpected good luck” became “You will have great unexpected good luck IN BED.” Silly, but fun and funny, especially at the age when anything having to do with sex was funny. It did, however, have a way of shaping perspective.

The Dictionary has two definitions of fortune; one is

“a large amount of money or assets”

but the other is

“chance or luck as an arbitrary force in human events”

We often rely on the latter to give us the former. In other words, we often rely on chance or luck to give us our fortune.

I am reminded of the story of the man who spends him time praying every day to win the lottery.

“Please just let me win the lottery! I won’t ask for anything else!“

Every week he wouldn’t win and every week he would pray. He became more frustrated as time went on and finally in exasperation he prayed again,

“I have prayed and prayed to win the lottery. Why won’t you let me win the lottery?“

Then a voice boomed out,

“Meet me halfway – buy a ticket!“

Two sayings stick in my mind about fortune that I think says everything you need to know. The first is from Cervantes

Diligence is the Mother of Good Fortune

and the other is that

Fortune Favors the Bold

Here’s some tips to help you reach your fortune:

DON’T RELY ON FORTUNE OR LUCK – Reject the second definition of fortune. Don’t live by chance. Don’t allow the course of human events to determine when you will get your fortune or what kind of fortune you will have.
DEFINE WHAT YOUR FORTUNE IS – for some it is a whole lot of money but it can something else for others. When I counsel people I will ask them what one of their business goals are and they almost always answer “make more money!” So, $1 more is good? You need to define how much is more. What do you want to accomplish? There is fortune to be found in many things rather than just money.
KNOW HOW TO GET THERE – Define the path to reach your fortune.
DAILY DILIGENCE – Working daily to move closer to your goals or your fortune. Keep doing positive things to move closer to your goals every day.

It’s not that these things will make the wheel spin in your favor; it’s that you will discover you don’t need the wheel!

What do YOU think?

How to Achieve Clarity in a Foggy World

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Driving Through the Fog

If you have ever driven a car, you have likely had the experience of driving through heavy fog.

Building a business, building a career, and building a life can feel a lot like that. In fact, that’s precisely the problem for many people; they spend their time navigating through the fog.

A businessman with no real direction who leaps at the next new thing to offer in the hopes for profits that turn the business
The person goes all in to the next scheme guaranteed to make them millions
The girl or guy who obsesses over the next person they think will truly make them happy.

It’s a mirage in fog.

Many people make decisions when things aren’t going well. They look for relief in the despair of the valley instead of waiting for the clarity that comes from being on the mountaintop. And when you’re experiencing the darkness of the valley, it’s always tempting to make changes that you hope will relieve the discomfort. -John C. Maxwell

Finding Your Way Clear

Successful people have CLARITY. The path is clear in front of them and they are joyfully on their journey. And while they path may wind, the hills may seem steep, and the road gets rocky on occasion; they forge ahead with determination because they can see where they are going. How do you achieve this clarity in your life or career or business?

[snaptweet]It’s not the problems that make YOUR life song so special, it’s the clarity you get when you determine to see your way through it.[/snaptweet]

Key Elements to Achieve Clarity:

KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES – Know what you stand for. Know what defines are the very core of your organization or core of your person exactly what has to factor in to every decision you make and everything you do. Honesty and integrity are key core values that you want to integrate into everything you do.
DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE – What are you driven to do, what do you want to accomplish. Here’s a tip: if it takes more than a sentence, then you haven’t fully defined your purpose.
VISUALIZE THE END OF THE ROAD – See where it is you are trying to go.
KEEP AN EYE ON THE PATH IN FRONT OF YOU – That’s where you are going to encounter those rocky roads and if you spend all your time looking ahead, the roadblocks in front of you may stop you before you can get there.

Sing It All You Want, But You Better Show Respect!

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Success Requires People

It’s a fact: no one has achieved any real, lasting success on their own. They have always done it by working with other people.

John Maxwell (Teamwork Makes the Dream Work), Jim Collins (From Good to Great), Ken Blanchard (High Five! The Magic of Working Together) and many others emphasize again and again, both from research and anecdotal evidence, that we are designed to achieve success with and through others. None of us is as smart as all of us.

So if you really want success, you need to work with and through other people.

And that means we need to get along with them.

Respect is the Start to Good Relationships

Respect is crucial to being able to get along with and work effectively with other people.

Herbert Casson once wrote:

“In handling men, there are three feelings that a man must not possess-fear, dislike and contempt. If he is afraid of men he cannot handle them. Neither can he influence them in his favor if he dislikes or scorns them. He must neither cringe nor sneer. He must have both self-respect and respect for others.”

Respect for others means that we truly care for others, we believe in others. We may not always agree with their politics or religion or even their choices, but we care for them and believe in them. Respect means we accept them for what they are now, not as we would hope them to be; even more importantly when they don’t think like we do.

This is the foundation of great marriages, fabulous families, thriving and relevant churches, and productive and effective organizations.

Granting Respect

Many will tell you that respect is earned but it’s not.

[snaptweet]Respect is granted; it is a conscious choice of the respecter to the respected.[/snaptweet]

You can do all the good and positive things in your life you want and there will be some who simply WILL NOT RESPECT YOU.

Does that mean you didn’t earn it?

Not necessarily; they may have simply refused to grant it.

Some will grant respect until you prove unworthy of it, based either on your position or standing or simply because of who they are as opposed to who you are. I tend to fall into this category.

Others require proof that you are worthy of respect and even power, position, or standing or status will not get you their respect until you can demonstrate your worthiness. I have always found this position to be kind of self-serving. I would rather have you prove me wrong for respecting you than spend a lot of time trying to meet an undeclared, usually unreachable, bar to earn my respect.

Self-respect then becomes critical because we can’t possibly respect others unless we respect ourselves. If we don’t measure up, then no one else does either. People who have low self-respect will never really respect others because they see no value in the relationship–because they see no value in themselves. Many who demand you earn their respect fall into this category.

Respect yourself, grant respect to others and you are well on your way to working effectively with others and achieving your dreams.

Keys to apply today:

DEVELOP YOUR SELF-RESPECT – Find the good in yourself. Write a list of what’s good about yourself.
BE A GOOD FINDER – It is easier to like and care for others when you focus on whats good about them.
Pick one person you encounter daily. Write down what you like about that person. Even the most obnoxious have something. If you can’t find anything, then the problem is you need to go back to number 1 because if you can’t find the good in yourself you can’t possibly find the good in others! Call them, write them a note or an email or visit in person and tell them how you appreciate them for those things you like about them.

Stop Being A Gilligan and Grow!

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What Are You Doing?

So exactly how are you pursuing that dream or that goal?

You know, that thing you have always wanted to get to?

If you have ever listened to anyone about personal growth or success, they talk about getting your plans down on paper and setting the definitive plan for achieving your goals.

It’s Not Enough

But there is another step. You have to actually act upon that.

And this is where the plans fall apart for many people.

Brian Tracy says that many of us live on Someday Isle.

You’ve probably heard many people refer to it.

Someday, I’ll quit this job I hate.

Someday, I’ll begin that project I always wanted to do.

Someday, I’ll spend more time with the family.

Someday, I’ll volunteer with a non-profit.

Do you know people guilty of this?

Are you guilty of this?

I know that there are times when I am. I become so focused on the routine of the day or the fire of the moment, that I lose focus on the things I want to do and they get pushed to the back burner.

It’s kind of like the castaways from the television program, Gilligan’s Island. They got stranded there and set about making themselves comfortable and never really got off the island. Until cancellation that is. Yes, they tried some things but they were random and not sustained. But they kept saying, “Someday, we’ll get off this island!“

I can relate to Gilligan and the castaways many times in so many ways.

Someday?

The problem is that someday never comes and that’s not where our true success comes from. In fact, you are going to get your best results not by saying someday but through what you do on a day to day basis. John Maxwell said you will never change your life until you change something that you do daily. I like to think of it in terms of what you do on a day to day basis makes a difference in your life.

That’s what personal growth is all about.

Intentional Daily Growth

So what we are talking about is embarking on an intentional personal growth plan so that on a day to day basis you are working towards your goals. Set aside time on a day to day basis to work towards the goals that you have.

It ain’t easy, but nothing worth having is easy. But you know that.

If you focus on doing something on a day to day basis to move a little closer to your goals then incrementally it gets better.

Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the end result. Be a 1%er. Focus just on that 1% growth you can achieve today. Choose what you will do beforehand; don’t just pick anything.

Remember the goal here is to grow towards your goals, not grow randomly.

Schedule a specific block on your calendar every day. It doesn’t have to be long; start with just 15 minutes. Protect that time ruthlessly and commit yourself to it and its going to make a difference in your life.

Not just in the future, but today.

One Thing You Can Do NOW to Grow

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How Grows It?

So tell me how your personal growth journey is going.

Or more to the point…is it going?

Do you have a definitive plan? Is it written down on paper (or computer)? That alone is a great start.

Get Out of Your Head

Ask most people and they will tell you they have a plan but it’s all in their head. If you manage to get it out of them, you will find the plans vague at first. Not good enough.

Get out of your head and into your greatness. –Les Brown

Your personal growth plan has to be written down and it has to be specific. Not just what you want to do but by when and how. You can’t hit a target you can’t see.

But even that is not enough. You have to actually act upon that plan. This part can seem very overwhelming to most people because they see all that they have to do to reach their goal and it seems like so much that they get discouraged and just give up. Is that where you are? I know I have been there many times.

Bit by Bit

To overcome this, it helps to break it down. As they old saying goes you eat an elephant one bite at a time. Focus on what you can do right now to get a little closer to your goal. To become a better leader, connect better with people, build better relationships, learn to increase your influence; whatever your personal growth goals are they can be broken down into daily activities.

Become a 1%er

So think 1%.

Focus on growing yourself just 1% a day.

That’s a fairly easy thing to do. If you grow yourself by just one percent a day, then think about this: over one year you will have grown yourself 365 percent. Actually even more than that because it is exponential; one percent on one percent on one percent and so on. So if you focus on that one percent and do that on a daily basis, then you are going to get much closer to your goal.

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow. -Doug Fireball

Pick It and Plan It

Start with WHAT you are going to do daily to grow. Read a book, attend an online seminar, practice a particular skill. You need to have a specific activity. Random doesn’t work. When we are specific, we choose activities that actually lead us where we want to go. Random leads us anywhere.

I’m a big fan of what Zig Ziglar called “Automobile University“. Buy CD’s ( or use your MP3 player) and listen to learn. Motivational recordings, instructional programs, books on audio; there is a never ending supply. You can even borrow some from the public library.

Did you know that if you subscribe to Success Magazine (and you should) that there is a CD in every issue with tips and guidance from thought leaders?

Whatever you choose, stick with it until you finish it. And most importantly, schedule it. Your commute to work is ideal for this.