Why Positive Thinking Shuns the New Age!

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Bashing Positive Thinking

Normally, I have tried to keep the blog posts flowing with the theme for the week. Today, however, I wanted to discuss another topic we have discussed before, particularly since I saw a video blog last week that kind of attacked Positive Thinking. We will get back to our weekly topic tomorrow.

What got me going was someone shared a video on Facebook where Barbara Ehrenreich bemoaned the big swell in positive thinking as simply wrong-headed as it promotes thinking your way into success. In other words, you think and it happens. That’s the gist of what I got from the video, which you can see using the link below.

Positive or Die

An Abberation of Positive Thinking

Now, to be fair, she has some good points in there. Yet, it starts to go awry when she throws positive thinking in the same vein with The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and with the New Age Frankenstein’s Monster version of the Law of Attraction. I will grant that Byrne herself uses the term positive thinking in her text, but again it aligns more with the New Age attraction than with real positive thinking. So, my issue is not so much with Ehrenreich (although she should have known better) than it is with all those who have messed around with a very good and useful principle.

Positive Thinking is neither the Law of Attraction nor a New Age Secret to getting everything in life you want. It is actually something so much more powerful, not because of what you get from it but because of what it makes of you.

No Magic

See, what Positive Thinking is really all about is choosing to look for good. The positive thinker believes in their abilities, they believe that how you think affects your abilities to make decisions, solve problems, and see solutions. They believe in possibilities. Norman Vincent Peale is the pretty much acclaimed as the master of Positive Thinking. Here’s what he had to say about it:

Now, a positive mental attitude, a phrase coined by my dear friend W. Clement Stone, is not just some cheery, blithe point of view. A truly positive attitude faces all the cold, hard realities of a situation and sees them straight. It does not desire to evade them — because it knows it can handle them. A positive mental attitude is positive thinking in-depth. It is vertical thinking…

Nothing magic about it.

No meditating on good thoughts and attracting everything you want to you. No. You face the reality of today and simply choose to see possibilities. When faced with problems, instead of looking at what you are not you choose to look at what you are; to do the best with what you have instead of wishing you had more. And you tend to be much more outward focused because the positive thinker looks for possibilities all around, especially in the people he encounters.

Positive Thinking is about hope; the belief that there is something greater ahead.

It’s Not Easy

Positive Thinking takes work because it is our natural tendency to alert ourselves to the negative. See, our bodies have this built-in mechanism, probably dating back to the beginning of man, that is looking out for danger and sets off alarms within us to let us know of potential trouble.

New Age thinking wants you to ignore that alarm; telling you that it is a lie, that there is no danger. If you will just visualize success and success will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame.

Positive Thinking doesn’t ignore problems, it simply chooses to deal with them in a positive way. Things happen because you believe in possibilities and make things happen, not because of a magnetic force in your body. There is nothing magical here.

Just plain ole action-oriented steps to affect your life positively.

How do you feel about positive thinking? What has affected your life to get results?

Why Gratitude Makes Things Happen

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Gratitude No Matter What

It’s been a weird week. Holidays tend to get in the way of other things sometimes and we had a few things pop up to throw monkey wrenches into the works. My Mother-in-Law had a little stint in the hospital this week and that required immediate attention and schedule adjustment. On Thanksgiving Day I managed to put a deep cut on my hand that required 7 stitches at the Emergency Room and that also threw our schedule way off. To be fair, I did get a blog post done as a guest on another blog (Linked2Leadership, see it here) but not much here.

I mention this not to excuse myself, but rather as a reflection. Because you see despite all the disturbances in our week, the family was able to spend time together and to celebrate Thanksgiving and share a large, very filling meal. Rather than harp on the inconveniences, we instead focus on the good and positive things that happened.

That’s what gratitude is all about. Gratitude in practically the ultimate in positive thinking. It doesn’t ignore the fact that there are problems, it doesn’t disregard that we are not where we wish to be or who we wish to be, it rejoices in what we have been blessed with so far, no matter how big or small. That in turns gives us hope and leaves us open to possibilities. It’s not turning a blind eye to our lack, it is opening our eyes to what is.

The Healing Power of Gratitude

Gratitude produces a healing power and, even more so, an almost miraculous circumstance of making better things happened. Norman Vincent Peale discovered this in his own journey dealing with some very persistent issues in his life. He observed

[snaptweet]In some unfathomable way, the acknowledgment of past blessings seems to be the activator of blessings.[/snaptweet]

When he focused on gratitude for how he was blessed in the past and blessed in the present, he found more blessings arriving his way.

Gratitude or Lack?

Too often, we have a lack mentality. We focus too much on what we don’t have, what we haven’t accomplished, the traits we were shorted, the things we were denied. The more we keep our minds fixed on what we don’t have, the more we tend to believe that not only do we not have it but we don’t deserve it. We also close our minds to any circumstance around us that may provide an opportunity to change things. We close things out and instead draw all of our focus strictly on what we lack. We project into every other circumstance. We can’t have, we can’t do, we can’t be because we lack money, because we lack skills, because we lack the right situation or timing or luck. We then ignore opportunities, resources, and situations the present themselves to help us dig out of that pit.

There is the old story of a flood that hits a town. One man, finding the water rising so high, climbs up on the roof of his house and prays to God to save him. “Lord, please,” he says, ” just rescue me from this desperate situation!” After a short-time, a neighbor comes by in a canoe and tells him, “I’ve got room! Climb in and let’s get to safety!” The man tells him, “No, I’m waiting for God to save me!” The water continues to rise up the roof, almost covering it. A woman comes along in boat and says, “Let me help you. Get in and let’s go before the water gets much higher!” The man says, “No, I am waiting for God to save me!” Eventually, the water has covered the roof completely and is so high it is up to his knees. A helicopter flies in overhead and a voice on a megaphone says, “I’ll lower a ladder! You can climb up to safety!” The man refuses, “God is going to save me!” The water rises to his chest now and in desperation he cries out, “Lord, I asked you to save me! Now I’m doomed! All is lost! Why haven’t you helped me?” A voice booms out, “I sent you a canoe, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want!”

Gratitude Out Loud

Gratitude, when properly practiced, becomes a way of life and a way of thinking. Instead of lack mentality is promotes abundance mentality. Some would call it pollyannaish. I gladly accept that definition. If you have ever seen the movie, Pollyanna DID make positive things happen around her. What’s wrong with that? The proper practice of gratitude is to engage in it daily. Waiting until the holidays to express gratitude or waiting until one day a week in your church, temple, or mosque to express gratitude is not the appropriate application. That’s called ritual. What we want is authentic, heart-felt thankfulness for how your life has been blessed and how others have influenced you positively. In fact, the key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent. The more often you promptly proclaim your thanksgiving and the more openly your share it, the more blessings multiply and opportunities appear and actions yield results.

[snaptweet]The key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent.[/snaptweet]

The way many people accomplish this is by keeping a gratitude journal. Use a notebook that your carry with you, or use a technology option like Evernote or Penzu, and each day (preferably first thing in the morning) record at least one thing for which you are thankful. It has to be something different each day. Do that for at least 30 days. The first few days will be fairly easy but after that you will have to think about it more. And that’s the idea; you want to spend more time discovering what really does exist in your life as a blessing.

The thing is, a gratitude journal is great for you, but I am a big believer in doing things that not only benefit you but provide value for others as well. With that in mind, a few weeks ago I initiated the Gratitude Live Project. Beginning earlier in November, I invited a select group to join me in the project up until Thanksgiving Day. Each day, each participant would contact someone who had a positive influence in their life and thank them for it. But it wasn’t enough to just say thank you, they had to be very specific about how and why that person influenced them positively. The results were overwhelmingly positive! Everyone found it not only made them more mindful of how others have influenced their life, but the recipients of the gratitude found felt better and more important; they felt like they made a difference! Project members reported the revival and strengthening of relationships! It went so well, I have decided to continue the project indefinitely, but modified out to a weekly instead of daily practice.

Just think, one small expression of gratitude making huge differences in people’s lives. That’s how gratitude makes things happen!

Action Plan

Start your own gratitude journal, beginning today and through to the rest of the year at least. Each day, first thing in the morning (including weekends), write down ONE THING for which you are grateful. Note how your attitude changes and how your connections with others changes as well.
Join me in the Gratitude Live Project. Make a difference in not just your life, but the lives of others as well. There is no charge for this. Click the link to begin.

Why Tough Times Are Necessary to Your Faith

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Stepping Out in Faith

One of my favorite parts in the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is towards the end where Indiana is trying to get into the room where the Holy Grail is. He knows he has to reach it in order to help his father, who lies bleeding from a gun shot wound in a cave in the mountain. As he gets closer to the cave where the grail is supposed to be, he reaches a large chasm that he must cross to reach it. The chasm is wide and there is no jumping across it and it seems to drop down with no bottom. His only hint is clue he got from ancient scrolls that says, “Only with a leap from the lion’s den will he prove his worth.” Indiana has doubts and hesitates and then his father, almost telepathically, murmurs, “you must believe, boy, you must believe!” Indiana steadies his heart and then takes a step. He has to simply step out in faith that there is something out there that will support him. It was a leap of faith for him! And it worked! He found that there was a camouflaged bridge to convey him to the other side. You can see the scene here: Leap of Faith Scene

When crisis hits is when our faith is put to the test. Anyone can believe what they see or when the evidence supports it; although there are certainly cynical people that don’t even do that much. It’s the moments when everything we see and all of the evidence seems to be against us that we must believe completely that we can accomplish our goals. We have to engage in a leap of faith that things are going to work out as long as we continue to work towards them. There are going to be moments where we are growing, moments that are going to test our faith. We have to step out in that leap of faith and trust that things will work out.

In the Bible it tells the story of Jesus walking on the water. Peter asks to join him and Jesus simply says, “come”. Peter steps out of the boat onto the swelling waves and takes a few steps and then….falls into the water. Peter took a leap of faith that he too could walk on water like Jesus. Once he realized what he was doing, his mind started putting in limiting beliefs and into the drink he went.

Like Peter, we need to be reminded to keep the faith and step out of the boat; confident that we will reach our goal.

Here are some things to help you keep going and keep working towards those goals:

Keep Moving! Don’t Stop!
Don’t buy into what others say about you. There will be doubters but don’t let that stop you.
Use Daily Positive Self-Talk greatly helps you maintain the right attitude.
Focus on your strengths. Know what it is that you are good at doing and find people to come and work with you whose strengths overcome your weaknesses.
Commit to daily growth. Become a 1%er! If you commit yourself to grow daily then you can overcome the obstacles that get in your way.

Why You Waste 12 Hours a Day of Your Precious Time

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Too Much Time on Trivia

Spending a little time doing research on this, I wanted to find out what the top time wasters we use are. While opinions vary there are some items that popped up on pretty much everyone’s list and you probably know which ones. That said, let’s look at some of the top daily time wasters and how much time they take.

FACEBOOK
Is it any surprise that this shows up on the list? For many people, their world revolves around Facebook and similar social networks. On a Marketing Charts website article, they report that Americans 18-64 spend an average of 2-3.5 hours per day on social networks. The number slides higher depending on age group and other demographics. Interestingly, business owners spend more time on social networks than non-business owners. In many workplaces, they thought that they had managed this problem early on by blocking social networks. That worked until people got smartphones with Facebook apps. Let’s call it 3.5 hours a day.
EMAIL
Again, no big surprise. What do most people do first thing when they get to work or boot up their computer? Check their email. We check it again an hour later. And then again an hour after that. And again. And again. Many even check it just before they call it a day. It becomes really time-consuming when we receive mailings from a variety of sources with people who want some of our time and/or money. We gotta filter through all that and then read the “urgent” stuff. Another 3 hours per day.
TELEVISIONReally?! But it is so educational! (yes, that was sarcasm) Many will tell you that you should find an alternative, like the wonderful recording features on many systems today. But that just means you will watch it later. Either way you are wasting time. Not too long ago our TV went out and was out for a couple of weeks. We found other things to do. Most peaceful two weeks in a long time. Still wondering why I fixed it. Average of 5 hours per day.

Wow! Let’s stop there. Just in those three items we have 11.5 hours of time spent out of our day. All those things are useful but none of them are critical; if we spend any more than an hour total on any of them we are wasting time. And this does not take into account the time we spend on other things like instant messaging or texting, pointless meetings, various interruptions during the day, generally surfing the web, and procrastinating. But there is one that I think is the most critical, first because I think it is the source of most of the others and second because of the effect it has on us overall. And that time waster is multi-tasking. We will talk about that on Friday.

Get Time Back

Knowledge is great, but action is better. How can we manage this a little better?

If Facebook is not part of your work, then you should invoke a no social networking rule during the work day. Chances are your company does not permit it and even doing it on your smartphone during business hours violates company policy. Besides that, it’s just not right. If you simply must, check it during lunch elsewhere.
If Facebook IS a part of your work, as it is for many small businesses and entrepreneurs, then block time out for it on the schedule in both the morning and afternoon, each one with a 30-minute limit.
Do not, I repeat DO NOT, check your email first thing in the morning. Save it until mid-morning after you have had the opportunity to eat a few frogs. Create a tagging system for marking emails. When you view your inbox, scan the messages and quickly and use your tagging system to mark them as urgent, critical, important, or not important. Urgent emails you respond to immediately, critical emails within a few hours, important emails by the end of the day, and not important emails either get filed or deleted. That allows you to get through it within 30 minutes each time, likely even less. Another thing: nothing stays in the inbox. Act on it, file it, or delete it.
This one is easy. Make TV time earned. Works for children, it will work for you. Half-hour segments of TV time is earned by meeting objectives or goals. Or do it by program if you wish. Either way, the idea is that you don’t watch TV unless you have earned it by accomplishment. Better yet, just keep it off and find something else to entertain you. Delegate the time to personal growth. Read a book or watch a webinar. Remember the caveat

Really successful people have large libraries and small televisions.

No matter whether you work for a large or small company, are a business owner, network marketer, run a charity, or manage a household; getting things done is a matter of managing the things that can waste your time. Knowing what they are and developing systems to handle them in definitive periods of time will go a long way towards making your day more productive and helping you find time for things you enjoy.

Action Plan

Buy a journal or notebook and document your time from the moment you wake up until you go to bed. Do this for at least three days but preferably a week. Include everything, no matter how insignificant it might seem. What you want is a good idea of how you are spending ALL your time.
Total up the time you spend per day on non-critical things like the activities above. Remember, social networking is not essential unless you use it to market yourself or your business IS social networking.
Create time limits and block out time on the schedule for those activities. Make sure that the beginning of the day is spent doing critical activities for the day, especially the ones you don’t really want to do or procrastinate on (eating the bullfrogs).
Follow the new schedule for 3-5 days and again document your activities. How much free time did you discover? Were you more productive and effective?

Three Ways to See the Value of Your Time

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Time Wasting

You are wasting time.

We all do to an extent, but the more successful people minimize wasted time and know how to get the most out of the same 24 hours daily that you and I have. Yes, many work long hours, that is true. Yes, many work weekends as well, that also is true. However, there are lots of people who work long hours including weekends and don’t get near as much done. It’s a matter of getting more value from your time because you understand the value of your time.

In my postings on social networks today, I shared a quote from M. Scott Peck. Peck was a psychiatrist and also an author. His most famous book is The Road Less Traveled. A lot of what he wrote about over the years was fulfillment and he was a big advocate of leading a disciplined life. He also believed in understanding your worth. The quote I shared today was

Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until your value your time, you won’t do anything valuable with it.

Understanding the value of our time begins with understanding the value of those things, including us, that take up that time. Here are a few considerations to help you understand the value of your time:

My friend Kevin McCarthy developed the concept of the On-Purpose Person (you can buy the book on Amazon). The foundation behind it is that we have to determine what our purpose is and once we understand that we have to plan our actions to make sure they are in alignment with our purpose. In other words, you must be On-Purpose. Kevin uses a light switch as an avatar to remind you to evaluate whether what you are doing is on purpose or off purpose. While sometimes off-purpose can be a good thing, what we look to do is make more of our actions on-purpose. So, in other words, when you understand your purpose, you attach value to yourself and your time. Being On-Purpose is making sure that you are doing something valuable with that time.
If you lean more towards the pragmatic, you can do the math. If you calculate out the dollar value of your time, then you understand better how much that time is costing you each time you waste it. There are lots of internet sites to show you how to calculate it out, but the simplest one I found was on The Simple Dollar. You figure out your take home pay from last year and subtract out all expenses associated with working, such as child care, transportation costs, etc. Divide that by the actual number of hours you devote to working each year, including commuting time and all. That gives you an actual dollar value per hour. So everytime you look at an activity, evaluate it by how much it is costing you using that figure. You may find yourself leaving out a lot more less productive uses of you time.
Be both sides of the customer/business relationship. As a customer, how do you feel when service in the restaurant is slow, when the doctor makes you sit 30 minutes in the waiting room, when the repair shop doesn’t have your car ready when promised, when someone promises to deliver something to you by a certain time and then doesn’t come through. You probably, if you are like most, display anything from displeasure to outright rage. Someone has not valued your time and you WILL NOT TOLERATE IT. But you do the same to yourself. When you choose to put off productive tasks, to pick activities that look busy but actually don’t get you any closer to your goals or tasks, or simply choose to do something entirely unproductive, then you are treating yourself like that restaurant did, like the doctor’s office, like the repair shop, or the dozens of others who may have let you down today. Insist on quality productive time out of yourself and believe in the value of your time.