Leadership Truly Starts at Home

The Passing of a Leader

My father, Paul F. Simkins, Sr., passed away recently after a year and half battle with cancer. He left a tremendous legacy in his chosen field, the Credit Union industry. He was a pioneer, helping lead the way in community charters. He founded an ATM network for credit unions that is now the largest in the nation. He had a national reputation in the industry. You can read more about it here in the Credit Union Times.

What follows is a trimmed down version of the remembrance I shared at his funeral. I share it here because my leadership journey began here. It is my hope you will look at the leadership lessons you can learn close to home as well. It better prepares you for the lessons you can learn elsewhere.

Remembering the Leadership Lessons

So I am up here today to make the speech you secretly hope you won’t have to make, yet deep down know one day you will.

And while I make a living making speeches, I have found this one to be one of the hardest to make. At the same time, it was one of the easiest. Hard because of the circumstances, easiest because there are so many things I could say about my father. The content is there in the life he lived but I was told to keep this short so the challenge is editing it down.

I am the namesake of Paul F Simkins Sr. Many will tell you we share more than just a name; some of it good and some not so good.

We both had to deal with sleep apnea, hypertension, and a tendency for gout. We both have had to deal with issues with our weight. Large noses run in the family. As I have joked several times recently, we tend to be a phlegmatic family. That was inherited.

Yet there is many more good things that I got than bad. The lessons I learned from my father through his words and his actions. From him I learned what to do and even what not to do. It’s these leadership lessons that stay.

Dad taught us to be faithful. Attendance and participation in church was expected and encouraged. Being an active part of the faith community was important. He built relationships with the pastors and would ask them questions and challenge them. In the end, Dad became comfortable with his pending death because, in his words, “I know where I am going.”

He taught us that family came first. Whether he was taking us on an adventure, or to baseball practice, or Boy Scouts, or dance class – sitting around the house or disciplining us he never left any doubt as to how important we were. Like most families, we had our moments but they were just that – moments. When the smoke cleared we were still family and the bond was still important. Even as we the children went off and established our own lives, much of it still revolves around the family as a whole.

Dad taught us presence. Having been involved as a teen, Dad loved Drum and Bugle Corps. When I had a chance to join one, he came along with me and participated in coaching the drum line.  I joined little league and they needed a manager for the team or there wouldn’t be a team. There was Dad. Same with Scouting. We needed a Scoutmaster or no troop. There was Dad. As a result, the influence he had was not just on me, but on dozens of other kids and adults over the years. I am a Scouter today because my son, Charlie, is passionate about Scouting and because of the lesson I learned from Dad to care for and influence others.

He was there for people in his business as well. Several managers and executives in the financial services business will acknowledge they owe their career path to Paul Simkins. He saw potential, gave them an opportunity, mentored them, and helped them to shine.

Dad taught me how to love your wife and make her a priority. As important as we children were, it was very clear to us where we stood in the pecking order. Dad’s world, first and foremost, revolved around his bride, Martha Jo – Mom to me. He was fully devoted to her, loving, affectionate, and thoughtful. I’ve tried to model that in my relationship with my wife, Sherry. You’ll have to ask her whether or not I have succeeded.

He taught us humor. Ask anyone who knew Dad and they will talk about how he was funny, entertaining, that he had a great sense of humor. One of our favorite pictures we included in the slide show is of several of his grandchildren sitting around him on the couch. He was supposed to be reading the Christmas story to them, yet in the picture all of the children are practically rolling around the floor laughing. You just know he said something – a funny voice, a funny name, something silly – that made them delight in peals of laughter. He brought humor into his workplaces and his interactions with others. He used it as a tool to connect with people and make them feel at ease around him. It speaks volumes that many of the memories shared about him revolve around that.

My father’s life was a model of how to care for, connect with, and influence others. Not a perfect model to be sure but an effective one. His influence lives on forever in my life and the lives of so many others where he made a difference.

What lessons are there for you within your family? Within your community? What have you learned that stuck with you? Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

Leaders Open Doors

This past Friday, Oct. 10, was the inaugural L2:Learn-Lead event that was simulcast around the world.  I had the privilege as a Founding Partner in the John Maxwell Team to be a host for the one of the simulcast locations.  While many were in attendance, many could not make it or did not make it.  I wanted to share with you some of the great content and knowledge shared with us at this fantastic event.

John C. MaxwellJohn C. Maxwell was the first (and last) speaker.  In his first talk, he shared ideas from his new book Good Leaders Ask Great Questions.  Here are some bullet points I gleaned:

  • Leaders make great connections through questions
  • Leaders open doors through questions, sometimes doors that would not have opened any other way.
You are only a few questions away from achieving your dream!
  • Questions let you direct the conversation.

John Maxwell encouraged everyone to find great people who do what they want to do or are what they want to be.  He mentioned getting his start the same way and listed some questions for you to ask great people to truly learn from them.

  1. What is your greatest lesson?
  2. What are you learning now?
  3. What has been your greatest failure?
  4. Who do you know that I should know?
  5. What have you read lately?
  6. What have you done that I should do?
  7. How can I add value to you?

Learning to ask questions helps leaders get answers.  They help us to DISCOVER!  We discover the concerns others have, we discover what things they care about, what their dreams are.  When we know these things, we can help them grow and from that our influence grows.   Then we can lead them more effectively.

In the next post, I will outline some points from Linda Kaplan Thaler.  In part 3 it will be from Tim Sanders talk, and then finally in part 4 the second teaching by John Maxwell.

What are your thoughts about leaders and questions?  Have you used questions effectively?  What are some questions you ask consistently?

Welcome Aboard, Thrill-seekers and Danger-lovers!

Much of my background is as a professional trainer.  Early on I learned the value of learning through others.  Where did I get started on that?

The Jungle Cruise!

That’s right!  This is Jungle Paul!

Working at Walt Disney World while in college at UCF found me on the one ride in the park where my personality fit to a “T”.  Standing up with a microphone and making a fool of myself for 10 minutes at a time, eight hours a day, was right up my alley.  I was not Skipper Dan by any means, but I loved the schtick!  I was trained and watched and learned from my trainer.  I spent time learning through others; what they did well and what they didn’t do well that I could improve upon.

By learning through others I became good enough that they assigned me as a trainer on the ride.  I had even more passion for that and poured myself into creating the best training experiences I could.

Jungle Trainer

One of the techniques we applied was a standard formula for the training business:

  1. Tell me how it’s done
  2. Show me how it’s done
  3. Help me to do it
  4. Allow me to do it on my own

Notice the key there.  We didn’t just throw them on the ride and say, “Okay, talk!”  We explained and demonstrated first.  In Boy Scout training, this is called EDGE (Explain, Demonstrate, Guide, Enable).

They watched and learned how to do it right by learning through others.  They absorbed a model to help them do it right.  It allowed them to confidently believe they could do it too.  This saved them some of the pain of doing it wrong consistently until they finally get it right.

[snaptweet]No matter what you do, learning through others do can help.[/snaptweet]

This is especially true when you pick the right people to learn from.  Find people who excel and study them.  Read books about them if they exist.  Interview them if possible and ask about failures more than successes.

[snaptweet]It’s in failures where the greatest lessons are learned.[/snaptweet]

Take what they do well and add your own flavor to it.  Take what they learned from their failures and design ways to avoid it yourself.  Save yourself some pain.

Who can you study today to help you become better at what you do?  How will you apply their failures to your life?  How will you apply their successes?

Comment Below.

New World Order

There’s no doubt about it, we live in a complex world.  And in this global economy it is important to be flexible; to be able to quickly respond to the changing demands of our society and our economy.  Adapt to change or else.  It’s the reality of the new economy – grow or die.
There is nothing in between.

The Learning Organization

learning and leading togetherThe best way we grow is through continual learning Peter Senge, in his book The Fifth Discipline, advanced the principal of the Learning Organization.  Basically, a learning organization is one that engages all the members of the organization in continual learning. They recognize that as everyone learns, the opportunities grow through greater knowledge and capability.   These companies invest in their people to move them and the organization forward.

Benefits of the Learning Organization

The result is a more empowered organization, one that is flexible enough to adapt, developing a mindset of creative solutions; it’s been proven that the more we learn the more creative we become. Employees collaborate more, there is improved employee morale, they are more productive, and you create an ongoing legacy, so that when the inevitable happens and someone moves on to another role, there is someone ready to step up into that role.
[snaptweet]Sustained success and profitability come from intentional continual learning.  There is no substitute or shortcut.[/snaptweet]

How do we get started on becoming the learning organization we desire to be?

Just think DIME:
DAILY – Growth has to occur on a daily basis.  I often talk about being a 1%er and this is what it is all about, growing yourself by just 1% a day.  That doesn’t sound like much, but over time it compounds and at the end of a year you have grown yourself over 365%.  As the saying goes,  by the mile its a trial but by the inch its a cinch.  This does not necessarily have to be formal learning every time.  It could be something as simple as having the team reflect back on the day and talk about lessons learned.
INTENTIONAL – Too many times we chase the next SHINY OBJECT; the seminar announced in a mailing, a book or video someone recommended we get, without really knowing whether it meets our needs or the needs of the organization.  Chasing the shiny object is not a growth plan, its a random series of events.  We have to be more intentional about choosing the growth path that best meets our immediate needs.
MISTAKES – Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.  Give your employees permission to go out and make mistakes without fear of punishment.  It is from our mistakes where we are going to learn some of our best lessons about how to move forward.
ENGAGED – Get engaged with this learning process.  Encourage your employees to engage with one another so that not only do they learn from their mistakes but also from the mistakes of others.  This can significantly shorten the learning curve and allows us to move forward at a much quicker pace to become the dynamic learning organization that is prepared for the future.

How are you learning?  How often?  How do you determine what you have learned?  Share your comments below.

Three Years of Focus AND Flurry

failure - lack of focus purposeAlmost three years ago I began this journey to have my own business.  I felt it was my purpose to help others learn to become better leaders and better team members.  I joined a program to be certified by John Maxwell (one of my mentors) as a leadership coach and become a Founding Partner of the John Maxwell Team of independent coaches.  While I have seen some victories, it has not become the overnight, overwhelming success I imagined it to be.  Which doesn’t mean it won’t be, just not necessarily on the timetable I originally envisioned.

It’s my own fault; every bit of it.  Lack of real focus and a flurry of activity in multiple directions.  Friends and family who mean well try to give me an out and mention that the economy is down, small businesses all over are struggling.  It’s not your fault.  But it is.

Not Giving Up

Let me be clear:  I am not calling it quits.  I still firmly believe I was meant to do this and will continue to try to do it until I am physically or mentally unable to.  However, it’s important to recognize where you have failed and even more importantly, how you can learn from that failure.  My two biggest failures have been lack of real focus and lack of strong purpose.

There have been other failures as well.  Lack of a real solid plan for getting and keeping clients, lack of a comprehensive marketing plan, poor money management, etc.  Passion sometimes blinds us to the realities of life.  Just because I have something to say that can help others doesn’t necessarily mean they will beat down the door.

Choose Growth to Find Purpose and Focus

Reading John Maxwell’s latest book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn has helped me put this in perspective.  I can mope and whine about my great failures or I can learn my lessons from it and move forward and do better.

I choose to learn and grow and get better.  So my purpose of sharing all this with you today isn’t to bemoan my failures and give up; in fact, quite the opposite.  I will grow stronger and become more effective and that will equip me even more to add value to you going forward.

failure - focus purposeSo what are my lesson learned and what am I doing about it?  Here’s a brief summary:

  • Enrolled in a marketing training program to become a better marketer of my services.  I am using ActionPlan.com and highly recommend Robert Middleton as he makes this easy to understand and has excellent hands-on experiences.
  • Narrowing my focus and defining my purpose.  There are thousands of leadership coaches out there.  What can I do that is unique and provides value?  After blogging every day now for over a month, I am finding myself focusing a great deal on personal growth qualities and most of my work going forward will focus on that.
  • Re-structuring of systems I use to acquire contacts and maintain communication with them

The biggest lesson which I really had to wrap my head around:  IT IS OKAY TO FAIL AND EVEN TO FAIL REPEATEDLY as long as you learn.  Thomas Edison while trying to invent the lightbulb failed almost 100o times before he achieved success.  Someone asked him how it felt to fail so many times and Edison replied

I didn’t fail 999 times, I simply learned 999 ways to NOT make a lightbulb!

Let’s move forward together and look forward to our failures!  Let’s learn and grow and succeed together!

Action Plan

  • Where you have failed big recently?  What have your learned from it?  Spend some time thinking on the lessons you could or should learn.
  • Who can you team up with to help you see perspective and gain accountability for growing?  If you can’t think of anyone, call me at 321-355-2442.