Six Keys to Happiness and 24 Hours of Happy

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Cuz I’m Happy!

You have mostly certainly heard it and perhaps seen it. The song from the movie Despicable Me 2 called Happy.

The song from Pharrell Williams became enormously popular. The video went viral on the Internet and there is actually a 24 hour music video web site called 24hoursofhappy.com. Go there and watch at any time of day or night. The site automatically detects your local time and cues up and plays a video of someone dancing and li

p syncing to the song. Different person and different surroundings depending on the time of day. It’s a neat little diversion.

What Makes Happy

When I ask people what they really want in life or in business, I hear a lot of the standard replies. “I’d like a better career”, “I’d like to make more money” (hear that one a lot), a better car, a better house, sometimes it’s even “if only I could find the person of my dreams”.

We have a tendency to assign our happiness out to other things and other people as if someone else or something else is responsible for our happiness.

Even when we know, or think we know, what we really need to be happy we let other things get in the way. We live in a world of instant gratification and so we sometimes take what’s right in front of us instead of what we really want or need to find our happiness.

Zig Ziglar said it best,

[snaptweet]The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want right now.[/snaptweet]

It’s Your Job

We have to take responsibility for our happiness. We need to take the necessary actions to achieve that happiness.

[snaptweet]Happiness comes in your reaction to the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.[/snaptweet]

Work towards the happiness that you truly desire.

Take Responsibility for Your Happiness – Don’t try to delegate your happiness out to someone or something else. You and you alone are the determinant for your happiness.
Set the Right Priorities to Move Towards Happiness – We let things of the day interfere but when we understand what our priorities are, then that helps us make the decisions to stay on target and moving in the right direction. It creates focus.
Be Positive in Your Daily Outlook – Things happen every day that can be potentially negative. The positive thinker tries to find the good or benefit in every situation. It’s not sticking your head in the sand, it is simply refusing to anguish over what we don’t have and work with what we do have to create the best possible scenario.
Make Gratitude a Daily Practice – There is both research and anecdotal data suggesting again and again that a regular dose of gratitude leads to a happier life. In the face of all that, we often fail to show gratitude for what we have, instead focusing on what we don’t have. Each day, for thirty days, write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. It must be a different thing each day. That will build the habit of gratitude thinking.
Nurture Relationships – Happiness is built when we are in relationship with other people. Not one of us on the earth is built to be a hermit! We are made for relationships. That does not necessarily mean romantic relationships, but valuable friendships and even acquaintances that build us up and care for us.
Be in the Moment – Focus on the now. When we look back at what was or spend too much time hoping tomorrow is better, we fail to appreciate or fully leverage the moment we have right now. Wherever you are, be there with your heart, mind, and soul.

So, what’s your action plan? How are you going to move towards happiness? Share your thoughts here.

The Leadership of Always Seeing Possibilities

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Thinking Possibilities

As leaders, one of the most important things we do is think. We think about our followers, about mentoring and growing other leaders, about the future of our business or our team.

Our thinking becomes dangerous when we start thinking in terms of limitations. When we think in absolutes. When we think with what’s called a “Lack Mentality”.

It’s been proven time and time again; limited thinking leads to limited results.

When we think in possibilities however then answers and solutions come to us.
Ken Blanchard once said,

If you want to go places you have never gone before, you have to think in ways you have never thought before.

Possibility thinking leads to the creative. It opens up new avenues and new solutions and allows you to be a more effective leader for your team.

Solutions Through Possibilities

If you ever saw the movie, Mr. Holland’s Opus, starring Richard Dreyfus as music teacher Glenn Holland you would see an excellent example of this. Mr. Holland is trying to write music and dreams of creating a world renown piece. To pay the bills, he takes on a job as a high school music teacher and faces challenge after challenge with the students and even his own child, who is born deaf.

Where others saw absolutes and insurmountable circumstances, Mr. Holland instead looked for possibilities. His passion for music and his desire to share that passion with others led him to think of unique ways to make things happen and achieve success. He finds creative ways to reach students and inspire them and even devises a way for his deaf son and other hearing impaired people to enjoy music through lights.

The end result was the lasting impact that Mr. Holland had on the people he influenced. He led them places they didn’t think they could go.

How We Can

As a leader, the responsibility we have as well is to lead people where they don’t necessarily think they can go. To do that, we have to be willing and prepared to explore possibilities and seek creative solutions in pursuit of our vision.

[snaptweet]When our vision and our passion join, we see hope. But when we think HOW WE CAN instead of “CAN WE”, then we create possibilities to bring our vision to reality.[/snaptweet]

Here’s some things to help open you up to possibilities:

Be a positive thinker – Many think positive thinking is just sticking your head in the sand, but actually a positive thinker looks for possibilities. They look for how they can get the best out of every situation.
Remember WHY and HOW – Question things a lot. Ask questions like “how can we be more effective? How can we serve our customers more efficiently? How can we improve our profitability?”
Avoid the Impossible Thinkers – The consultants and experts that tell you it can’t be done, that its impossible to reach your goals or objectives. There are always possibilities and we want to look for those instead of what we can’t do.
Think “AND” instead of “OR” – We limit our thinking by creating exclusionary choices. We can do this or have that. Why not look at how can we do this AND have that? How can we improve customer service AND increase profitability? Thinking that way helps us come up with creative solutions that are more effective for our organization.

What possibilities will you open yourself up to today?

Listen Up! Leading Through Better Listening

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Talking is Not Listening

Have you ever been involved in a conversation and then 10 seconds later you couldn’t remember what they said or even if what they said was significant? It’s not uncommon; in fact, it happens to all of us on a regular basis every day. We hear, but we don’t really listen with the intent to understand or attach any significance to what is going on. But a little active listening can go a long way towards building successful relationships.

One of the biggest hurdles we have in communicating with others is when we fool ourselves into thinking that communication has actually taken place. We talk and we talk; we are pretty sure that we have gotten through, mostly because we have made sure we got our say in. And then we may listen – or more accurately we hear but we don’t really listen because we are busy formulating our response or we have simply moved on to the point we want to make.

Stephen Covey once observed that

most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.

Our Own Agenda

Too often we are concerned with our own agenda than we are with achieving any kind of understanding in a communication.

As leaders, one of the most important things we do; whether we are a leader in the workplace, a leader in the community, or a even a leader in our home, one of the most important things we do is listen to others to achieve understanding. When we do that, we can help others reach their goals. When we help others reach their goals, then our goals become possible as well.

[snaptweet]Nothing shows love, respect, and esteem more than a careful listening ear. When we listen with others, we treat them with esteem and we able to achieve more because we build better relationships.[/snaptweet]

So here’s a few things that will help you become a more active listener today and achieve better results:

LOOK AT THE SPEAKER – I’m easily distracted and will be engaged in conversation while looking at a computer screen or something in the distance that has caught my eye. You need to take the time to focus on the person and you can do that easiest when you are looking at them.
DECIDE NOT TO REPLY IMMEDIATELY – Often we are too busy formulating a response to really hear what is being said. By deciding not make an immediate response, you free yourself up to listen and understand.
KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK – Once our emotions take over we often shut down and we are too busy reacting emotionally to really hear what is being said. The more you control that, the more you can listen to really understand before you respond.
ASK QUESTIONS – Even if you think you know what they are going to say, asking questions can help clarify things.
PROVIDE FEEDBACK TO UNDERSTAND – Paraphrase what the speaker has said and put it in your own words to ensure that there is shared meaning. If you got it wrong they will correct you and if you got right they will confirm it.

Chances are you have a meeting or will interact with someone today. Pick one activity to work on; for example, focus on looking at the speaker and dropping distractions. See how it works. How did it work for you?

Is Your Success Recipe Balanced?

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Recipe Disaster

One of the things I like to do to relax is cook. A couple of years ago I decided to make a special treat for everyone and I wanted to make a Caramel Flan for dessert. Now I had never made one before and so I had to find a recipe and follow it closely. One of the ingredients in the recipe was one cap (capfull) of Vanilla Extract. Well, I misread the recipe and thought it said one cup of Vanilla Extract. I thought that was extraordinary but the recipe must be right. So I had to run to store and buy more vanilla and added one cup of Vanilla Extract to the mix.

Well, as you may guess, the result was horrible. The smell and taste of the vanilla was so overpowering that no one could eat it and we had to throw it out!

I had the right ingredients but I didn’t have them in the right balance.

Seeking Balance

As an entrepreneur, as a small businessman, and as a leader we make those choices for balance on a daily basis. We recognize the importance of balance but it is very hard to achieve.

We need to keep things in perspective and understand first of all that you are never going to achieve perfect balance in our lives. There are always going to be things that happen daily that tip the scale one way or the other. No matter how good our plans are, life will get in the way of our quest to achieve balance.

What’s important to us is progress, not perfection.

Right Ingredients, Right Mix

A key to making progress is having the right ingredients in the right mixture.

The right skills in the right quantities
The right knowledge and information we need to make good decisions
The right spirtual foundation
The right team members around us
The right environment

Again, understand it will be a continual struggle. We want progress and not perfection. You will make balance choices each day and the scales will tip first to one side and then the other. The real balance is in the choices of how we spend our time and where it is most important to spend it now. Being consistent with those choices will help move us towards balance.

[snaptweet]

Don’t try to balance your life; work, home, church, community, friends. Instead, try to be consistent. Consistency seeks its own balance.

[/snaptweet]

Here’s a few things that will help you along towards making progress on achieving balance:

Establish priorities in advance – when your priorities are clear, decisions about where to spend your time become easier.
Gather an effective team – Without the support of people around you, you tend to view yourself as indispensable. When you do that, leaving work becomes harder to do. A good team gives you confidence.
Seek wise counsel to give you perspective – We all need someone to take our blinders off and see other points of view.
Find an accountability partner – Someone to help hold your responsible for your commitments. Someone who is preferably not your spouse or business partner.

Have you achieved balance? What things do you do on a daily basis to balance you life?

Nurture The Success Around You

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The Animal Nature of Nurture

One of the benefits of living in Central Florida is all the attractions around here. One of the attractions, of course, is Sea World. Sherry and I love to watch the animal trainers work with the animals at Sea World. It’s really interesting how they can do so well with it. There seems to be a very special relationship with the animal and many a trainer will tell you exactly that.

Recently I discovered how they are able to work with them so effectively. When an animal trainer is going to work extensively with an animal, it is critical during a developmental time that the trainer spend one-on-one time with the animal.

They will feed the animal
They make physical contact
They talk to the animal and encourage it.

This nurturing, one-on-one time allows the animal and the trainer to build reciprocal trust. The reciprocal trust and the nurturing that allow the trainer and animal to be able to work together effectively and safely.

The Human Nature of Nurture

As humans, we aren’t any different. We need nurturing ourselves.

We are all desperate for people to recognize that we are significant
We want them to recognize that we have an impact.
We want them to encourage us
We want them to guide us.

We all need that.

Giving Nurture

The flip side is that we all have the ability to nurture other people, it doesn’t come out naturally. It has to be intentional and it has to be developed over time.

Why would I want to bother to do that in a business environment or as a leader?

When we are able to nurture people, we are able to connect with people. When we can connect with people, we can build our influence with them. When you can build our influence, then you can help them get the most out of themselves. That’s what we want to able to do as a leader or businessperson: get the most out of others.

[snaptweet]”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”[/snaptweet]
John Maxwell

Here’s some things you can do to build those nurturing relationships:

COMMIT TO PEOPLE – you have to be committed to their development. It doesn’t mean you are an enabler, it doesn’t mean that you take over their lives; it simply means that you provide the circumstances and that you are committed to helping them help themselves if they are willing to take the steps to go in the right direction.
BELIEVE IN PEOPLE – If you don’t believe that they can become better or that they can achieve greater things, then you are not going to be able to get anything out of them because that belief will show through. Whether you believe they are worthless or believe they are worthwhile, it will show through in everything you do.
GIVE WITH NO CONDITIONS – Pour yourself into them and do it without setting any conditions. A lot of people thing that giving is a reciprocal thing; I do something for you and you do something for me. No conditions here. Go in and pour yourself into them simply because you want to see them get the best out of themselves. You will benefit in the long-run but you can’t go into it with the expectation of a tradeoff because there isn’t necessarily going to be one.