Tag: leadership

One Thing – Why Being Busy Isn’t Necessarily Being Effective

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The Wisdom of Curly: One Thing

one thingOne of the scenes practically everyone remembers from the movie City Slickers is when Curly (played by Jack Palance) is talking with Mitch (played by Billy Crystal) about his view on life.  The following conversation ensues:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?   [holds up index finger]   This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean s***.

Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”

Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

Curly, the old cowhand, knew it while the radio executive had not yet figured it out.

[SPOILER ALERT]  Eventually he does.

Busy Lives without that One Thing

What’s your schedule like?  Is it filled with focus or filled with events?  We book our calendar with things to do and it is typically a wide variety of things.  We may support a variety of non-profit organizations, take the kids here and there to piano lessons, dance class, Scout meetings, football or baseball practice, soccer, lacrosse.  We have committee meetings at church, the house needs straightening up, we have meetings in the office, a lunch appointment, gotta fix dinner, gotta check our Facebook page, gotta scan the news, attend a webinar we heard was good.  Somewhere in there we may decide to say hello to our Significant Other and then watch a little (or a lot) of TV.  What’s our One Thing?

We are busy, but are we really getting where we want to go?  Are we getting the most out of the moment?  Are we learning to focus our energy?

One Thing We Are Gifted For

The urgent message behind the Wisdom of Curly is that ONE THING.  To be truly effective, to utilize more of our potential, we must focus on the one thing that truly fills us.  It is the thing we were created for.  We were particularly and UNIQUELY gifted for this one thing and somewhere deep inside of us is a passion for the one thing.  The two must coincide; you cannot be gifted for something without having a passion for it.  It may have been suppressed or even trained out of you by your environment, but deep inside you is that passion for that ONE THING!

If you really want to get the most out of your life, you must draw more focus onto that ONE THING.  If you know what it is, you must devote more resources to developing it and exploiting it (exploiting in this case is a good thing).  If you don’t know what it is, you need to spend time searching and finding it.

“What?!” you say, “find time for SOMETHING ELSE to do?  I just don’t have any more time!”

You don’t have to time to NOT do it!  Anything else, if you are not leveraging your ONE THING, is wasted effort.

Focus Not Flurry

target - one thing focus not flurryThe secret, I believe, is in Focus and Not Flurry.  Stop being caught up in a never-ending flurry of activity and start being concentrated on establishing or optimizing that ONE THING.  Now, some busy things in life are unavoidable; shopping still needs to get done, meals still need to be cooked, some meetings are inevitable, charities still need our help (although this could use focus too), and the kids still need to go places.  But the last two are good examples of flurry instead of focus.  I see many people get involved in a wide variety of charitable activities, dabbling here and there but never really digging in to one.  Pick ONE, maybe two at the most, and focus your energy on serving them as best you can.

Additionally, in our earnest ambition to give our kids the best opportunity to succeed, we overbook them in an expanse of activities that we end up investing a lot of time and money into and become a shuttle for moving them around from place to place.  And so, we ingrain in them also the mindset of FLURRY instead of FOCUS.  They become a jack of all trades and we wonder why they don’t settle down and DO SOMETHING as they get older.  They have had no time to develop a real passion for anything before we moved them on to the next conquest.  They need exactly what we need: FOCUS NOT FLURRY.

They need that ONE THING.

You need that ONE THING.

Go get it!

Action Plan

  1. Do you know what your ONE THING is?  If not, start today to identify it.  Seek help from a coach.  They can help you identify strengths and passions that may be hidden.
  2. If you know your ONE THING, decide on something you will do daily to work on it.

 

 

Why Pollyanna Was Right – Positive Thinking

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How to Get Better Ideas

positive thinking yields brighter ideasWho gets better ideas, the positive person or the negative person?  A traditional saying is that “necessity is the mother of invention”; in other words, great ideas are spurred by need.  On the surface, that seems negative but actually the opposite is true.  Taking action happens from a positive attitude.  The negative attitude simply sees the need but the positive attitude not only sees the need but also believes fully that there is a solution if they only look long enough and hard enough to find it.  The negative person gives up, the positive person gives more.

I also believe BETTER ideas come from a positive attitude.  The positive thinker is outward focused and sees possibilities in every situation.  This ignites the thinking processes that want to find not just the easiest way but the best way and they will look at multiple options; not rejecting anything until they determine which will work best.  The negative thinker looks for the easy way out, doubting that anything will work and why not choose the path of least resistance.  This concept is born out in research, as I noted in yesterdays blog, Bouncing Back.  The positive person is simply in a better position to see options and make the most effective choice.  They are also more likely to execute it, which after all is the point.  No solution works if you don’t implement it.  Earlier in the week I mentioned a quote by Zig Ziglar that applies so well here:

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

Pollyanna Was Right

pollyanna showed positive thinking in all situationsMany people use the term Pollyanna-ish to denote an idea or person who seems to be unreasonably positive.  This is based on the book and movie Pollyanna about a girl who goes to live with a relative in a town that is struggling and her constant positive outlook befriends everyone in town.  Many see Pollyanna’s attitude as almost a head in the sand, ignore the bad things and look at the good things attitude and see it as non-productive and certainly not results oriented.  So typically, referring to something as Pollyanna-ish is meant to be a derogatory term.  I think the opposite is true.  It’s not ignoring the situation, it’s simply refusing to accept it as final.  It is always seeing possibilities.  Being a Star Trek fan, I have to try and fit in a quote here from James T. Kirk (paraphrased a bit):

“I don’t believe in a no win scenario. I like to think there are always possibilities.”

A positive attitude allows you to reach high and overcome odds, it allows you to look for and see the best in people instead of the worst.  It also means you EXPECT the best from people and not the worst.  When you expect the best and make that clear in the way you treat people, most will go out of their way to live up to your expectation.  Will some disappoint you and break your heart? Sure, it’s inevitable.  But it is still better than expecting the worst in everyone else, treating them accordingly, and never being surprised or disappointed.  Expecting the worst in others brings out the worst in you.  Expecting the best in yourself and others creates a world of potential and possibilities that the worst can never bring you.

Think about your employees or colleagues in the workplace.  Do you expect the best from them?  Do you show that by treating them with respect, by giving them YOUR best?  Do you make your expectations clear?  How do you support them?  Encourage them?  Equip them?  As soon as you believe in possibilities and show that daily, they will too and it will show as they strive to constantly meet your expectations.

Action Plan

  1. Apply the thought “always possibilities” to a particular problem you are facing.
  2. Think about how you can give your best to your employees or colleagues. Determine your first step and do it.
  3. How can you communicate your expectations without being aggressive or offensive?

Bouncing Back: A Positive Attitude Solves Problems

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Punching the Clown

the clown keeps bouncing backOne Christmas when I was very young I got a fun little toy; at least fun for a young boy.  It was an inflatable clown with a rounded, weighted base.  Once you blew him up he stood tall.  He had the nice red nose sticking out and you could aim for it and basically box the clown.  Punch him and he is bouncing back and you can punch him again.  Of course, you always won.  Or did you?

The amazing thing about that clown was that no matter how many times or how hard I hit him, he kept bouncing back up immediately.  Punch him right on the nose, and he rolls right back up so I can hit him again.  Kick him with a nice 7 year old karate kick and he bounced back.  Nothing short of deflating him totally would keep him down.  Even then, you would simply fill him back up and he was ready to go again.  Got a leak?  No problem, patch him up, blow him up, and he is ready to go.  He just didn’t know that he should stay down.  He just kept bouncing back.

Bouncing Back from Problems

It is inevitable.  Problems will come along.  Things rarely go as planned.  You think you are in line for a promotion, you get laid off.  You think you are making progress financially and the house needs a major repair.

In the last five years, we have dealt with issues like everyone else.  Layoffs, a child with Borderline Personality Disorder who has run away from home repeatedly, lots of medical issues which ran up expenses, a very down year for my business, and more recently the federal government shutdown which put my wife on furlough meaning no income.

We could sit and cry about our problems.  No one would really blame us.  But it doesn’t solve anything.  I like to be solution oriented.  This is where a positive attitude comes in.  I don’t believe in defeat, just delay.  I am not down unless I think I am.  I will keep bouncing back as long as I can.  The positive attitude allows us to think clearly about solutions instead of dwelling on problems.  A positive attitude keeps us outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused, avoiding having a pity party.  You have to have faith in your ability to keep bouncing back and finding solutions to your problems.  Norman Vincent Peale mentions that achieving your potential requires that faith when he said,

“Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will.”

keep bouncing backSo a positive attitude actually helps us to keep bouncing back from our problems.  In fact, there is research to support that.  In an article in Entrepreneur Magazine, they cite research done at the University of North Carolina that determined that positive emotions “expand awareness and attention” which makes you more open to possible solutions than negative thinking will.

Open up your mind to possibilities.  Believe they are there and like the inflatable clown, keep bouncing back up!

Action Plan

  1. Focus your mind on positive, affirming thoughts.  Encourage yourself that you can keep bouncing back, that you WILL find solutions, that nothing will keep you down.  Don’t move on to the next step until you have reached a positive outlook.
  2. Now think of one main thing that  is threatening to bring you down? Focus on that.  Spend 15 minutes of uninterrupted time brainstorming possible solutions.  If this issue involves your spouse or significant other, include them.  The rules are:
    1. No more than 15 minutes – anything that will come will flow within that time span
    2. No interruptions – no phone, no texting, nothing
    3. No discussion or commentary – whatever ideas come out go down on paper no matter how impossible or silly or stupid they sound.  Write them down.
  3. Now that you have a list of possible s0lutions, discuss them.  Pare down to top 5 possibles.
  4. Take the top 5 and determine two more likely options.
  5. Determine which one to try first.
  6. Invoke that solution today.

Why a Positive Attitude is Hard: Negative People

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A Negative People Morning

negative newsI don’t usually do this, but this morning I turned on the TV first thing and turned to the news.  What we were looking for was anything about the federal budget and possible government shutdown.  My wife, Sherry, works for the federal government and would likely be taking a break for a while if the government shuts down.  While she would eventually get paid, if it goes for any length of time that is income we don’t have.

On Facebook and other social media, where there never seems to be an end to the political experts anxious to share their opinions with you, there have been all kinds of commentary about this event and most of it negative.  It’s unavoidable as we live in a negative world.

Don’t Let Negative People Define You

But you and I, we are positive people.  We believe in keeping a positive attitude.  And in this negative world, even having a positive attitude can have a bad rap.  Over the years, I have read and listened to plenty of Norman Vincent Peale and many others who remind us and equip us to have a positive attitude in everything we do.  The negative clans are quick to attack this attitude as a head in the sand approach, or a Pollyanna note outlook on life, or looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.  According to them, we fail to face the realities of life; or at least reality as defined by them.

In truth, having a positive attitude is none of these things.  We don’t hide our heads hoping bad things will just go away.  We don’t ignore the challenges of this world or government shutdowns or bad economies or falling job markets.  We simply refuse to let them define our lives; we stay true to who we are, what we are, and whose we are.  Maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t mean we ignore the world; quite the contrary.  We see the world and we intend to change it!  And we start with ourselves!

Our biggest battle will be the negative people who surround us.  Make no mistake about it, NEGATIVE PEOPLE SUCK!  They just suck the life right out of you and your hopes and dreams.  And they will hammer their message at you continually trying to break you down until you think like they do.  You have heard that misery loves company?  Believe it!  They want you on their side.

avoid negative people, stay positiveDon’t be Anakan, be Luke!  Refuse to cross over to the dark side!

Getting Away from the Influence of Negative People

So how to do we avoid letting negative people impact our lives?  Ultimately, it’s going to rely on your will and desire to stay positive, but here’s a few things that will help.

  1. Stop watching the news!  I mentioned at the beginning that I almost never turn on the TV news in the morning.  It’s not that I am trying to ignore what’s happening in the world, it’s just that I don’t see the need to fill my mind with the full-force negativity of broadcast news.
  2. When a negative thinker starts to share their downer philosophy of life, don’t agree with them.  At the time, it will seem like the quickest and easiest way to get ride of them, but it’s not.  As soon as you agree with them, they think they have an ally and will be coming to you more often.
  3. Don’t argue with a negative thinker; you can’t win.  If you disagree, they want to engage in an argument and come up with more reasons why you should believe they way they do.  Negative doesn’t give up that easy.
  4. Don’t minimize their complaints either.  If you minimize it, they will simply try to come up with more reasons why they are right.
  5. Be sympathetic to what they are saying, but try to re-direct them more to the task at hand.
  6. Always be on a deadline.  “I understand how you are feeling, it must be frustrating.  Please excuse me, I need to focus on this project right now because I gotta have it done by the end of the day.”  The more that you can do that, the more leverage it gives you to excuse yourself away from those situations.
  7. Seek affirmations.  That negative input is going to impact you so you need to seek positive affirmations that are going to help build up your positive thoughts again so you can stay focused on your goals.

Action Plan

  1. Starting tonight, read or listen to something positive just before you go to bed.  Ideally, a self-affirmation script is key because it plants positive thoughts into the subconscious that burned in while you sleep.  It also gets anything negative off your mind before you put you head on the pillow.
  2. Starting tomorrow, read or listen to something positive immediately after you wake up.  Don’t turn on the TV; at least not yet.  Motivational recordings or books, or simply look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are going to have a great day, that you will overcome any obstacles that get in your way, that you will love and care for your family and friends, that you will take care of all your big rocks on the day and add value to everyone you meet.
  3. Avoid the negative thinkers by focusing on the task at hand.  ALWAYS have something to do that requires your immediate attention.
P.S.  While people use the term Pollyanna negatively, as if to assert that being optimistic and looking for the good is wrong,  I have never had an issue with this.  Call me a Pollyanna, I embrace it gladly!

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